Moving On and Starting Fresh
by andyouwillneverknow
Summary: Meredith's old high school boyfriend is now her boss.  How does she plan on dealing with her lingering feelings for him, when he's moved on and found another woman? MEREDITH AND DEREK.
1. Chapter 1

Seattle Grace Hospital towered over Meredith, only slightly shielding her from the tedious Seattle rain that pelted down against her. She stared up at the familiar building, of course it had been a long time. The last time she'd seen it was just after her high school graduation. Her mind drifted back in time, to when she was young, foolish, and wild. It was almost thirteen years after her parent's marriage had fallen apart and merely a few weeks after Richard Webber, her mother's colleague and lover, whom she slept with for years before Thatcher Grey found out, admitted to her that he had no real plans of leaving his wife, Adele. It was a point in Meredith's life when nothing seemed to be going right. Her mother, Ellis Grey, world renowned General Surgeon transferred to Massachusetts General Hospital and hopped on the next plane out of Seattle. Meredith followed her, but only to propose her plan of leaving with her best friend, Sadie, to backpack around Europe before college. Of course her mother who was a classic over-achiever blatantly expressed her hatred of the plan and quickly added that Meredith would never be smart enough to handle being a surgeon.

Meredith took off the next day with nothing but a backpack and Sadie. The two spent years traveling around Europe, hiking through tourist hot spots and spent the nights drinking away their sorrows, by drowning themselves in tequila. Meredith decided that it was time to buckle down and return to reality. Sadie had other plans, so Meredith reluctantly left her friend behind in Spain and jetted back to Boston. What she discovered was her mother was in an adult daycare center, because she had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease.

Meredith's reunion with her mother was terrifying. Ellis Grey was a strong, independent woman, who had no qualms when it came to speaking her mind. The permanent blank, confused stare she now wore gave Meredith an uneasy feeling. Meredith sat across from her mother -who now seemed like even more of a stranger than she had before Meredith had taken off galavanting around Europe- and everything seemed wrong. The small twelve by twelve room her mother had been placed in made Meredith claustrophobic. The windows were nailed shut and the view was of the neighboring building's brick wall. The chair she was perched in felt uncomfortable underneath her body and she shifted uncomfortably. It was then that she decided she was going to pack up her mother again and move her into a nursing home in Connecticut, so she could attend Dartmouth.

Almost nine years later Meredith had moved her mother into a new adult day care center, this time in Seattle. She's taken over her childhood home, which her mother had never bothered to sell and had been accepted into an internship at her mother's old stomping ground, Seattle Grace.

The building held so many secrets and memories. Meredith had spent every free moment of her childhood wandering the busy halls, silently observing surgeries in the galleries, or trying on old scrubs and lab coats. She knew the place like the back of her hand, but something about starting her first day of work here seemed wrong. Her mother's legacy hung over her head, waiting to prove she was incapable of being a surgeon at any moment. Meredith had done her research and knew that Richard Webber was now the Chief of Surgery at the hospital and Derek Shepherd, world renown neurosurgeon and her former high school flame was the head of the neurosurgery department. The halls were not only haunted by her mother's legacy, but ghosts of her past as well.

With a quick sigh to calm her ragged breathing, Meredith charged forward through the hospital's double glass doors. Inside the waiting room was crawling with anxious families awaiting the news of their loved ones, who were either tucked away in a trauma room or being operated on by talented surgeons. Meredith wanted to tell them they were in good hands, but she breezed by quickly, because the watch secured around her wrist by a leather band reminded her she was five minutes late and that was something she didn't want to be on her first day.

The intern's locker room was a buzz with nervous chatter and awkward aspiring surgeons struggling to shimmy themselves into the appointed pair of scrubs and the starch white lab coat that hospital personnel had placed in their respective lockers the night before. Meredith followed suit and slipped into the brand new light blue scrubs that had already been fitted for her size. She accessorized with a lab coat and a blue stethoscope, which she draped over her neck. She'd finished getting changed in time to hear the names being called by a monotone man who stood in the front of the room with a list in his hands. He read off the names of the interns and told them which resident they'd been assigned to.

It was only her first day and Meredith's luck was already running thin. She was assigned to the toughest resident alongside three other interns: Cristina Yang, whom was determined and wore a stuck up expression, Isobel 'Izzie' Stevens a perky, optimistic blonde, George O'Malley who was a nervous babbler, and Alex Karev who seemed conceited and like a bit of a player. He'd already tried hitting on Meredith and they had only met once. Now as if her luck had not already been bad enough she was on Shepherd's service for the day.

Meredith's stomach was in knots as she made her way through the familiar hospital hallways, her mind was flooded with memories of her and Derek exploring the building's forgotten hiding places and cuddling under the stars on top of her mother's roof, when she was away at the hospital working her usual late hours. Meredith longed to have those moments back, before Derek had decided to leave and her life fell to shambles.

She spotted him before he saw her. He and another doctor were huddled over scan of someone's brain. His dark, wavy hair was still gorgeous, Meredith resisted the urge to run her fingers through it. His bright blue eyes, which had once held a certain, light gleam were now dim and the lines around his eyes told the story of a life Meredith had not been a part of.

A few minutes passed. Meredith's body transitioned into a fight or flight response. Her eyes danced between the elevator and the stairwell's doors, planning her escape. She planned on crawling back to Dr. Bailey and begging to be switched off of Dr. Shepherd's service. She'd chosen the staircase as her exit. She quietly slid behind the door and started up the steps, her jogging sneakers clunking noisily against the hard marble.

"Meredith?" A familiar, soothing voice called.

She stopped in her tracks, her heart sped at the sound of the voice, but she chucked it up to nervousness, because she had been trying to avoid this moment all day. Carefully, she turned on her heel and faced Derek Shepherd, her old high school boyfriend. If she looked at his face hard enough and saw past the wrinkles around his eyes and the slight parentheses lines surrounding his mouth, which had not been present when they were together all those years ago. It was weird seeing new things added to his face, because there was a time when she knew that face better than the back of her hand.

"Hi," She said stunned, she had to remember that her jaw was hanging open. It took a little more effort than necessary to close her mouth. For years she had worked on pushing Derek Shepherd to for corners of her mind, trying desperately to forget about him or more accurately the pain she associated with him, but seeing him materialized in front of her did not inflict the usual pain that memories or thoughts did, it sort of numbed her.

Derek offered one of his charming smiles. It didn't reach his eyes though, a fact Meredith noted instantly. "Don't act like you do not know me," He replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

Meredith rolled her eyes of course he was trying to make a joke of their situation. "You took advantage of me in high school. I was younger and you thought you could play me," She said in a matter of fact tone.

"No, you see, that's where you're wrong," He answered with a slight chuckle.

The sound of his laugh called a million memories to the front of Meredith's mind. She did not have the energy to sort through them though, because she was still stunned over the fact that Derek Shepherd was standing in front of her. After he had hurt her in high school, she had constantly told herself that she would never see him again, standing here, right now she was breaking years worth of promises.

"You took advantage of me," He continued. "I was young at heart and you were beautiful. I was good looking, so you played me."

That hurt. It felt like he had physically slapped her. She recoiled like he had. They both knew what had happened in their final, dark days. Meredith had been reviewing their downfall in her head for years and she knew exactly what had happened and why their seemingly perfect relationship didn't work.

"I was younger than you and you were not that good-looking."

It had only been a few minutes and the two of them were already falling into their old, playful banter. Meredith hated herself, but she couldn't resist joking around. It made her feel like they were in high school being carefree and young. His blue eyes were so inviting, despite their lack of shine. She leaned against the banister and sighed. "I missed you."

Derek's face went pale for a moment, before he composed himself and smiled, softly. The silence that followed was awkward and Meredith wanted to swallow the words back down, but it was too late they were hanging in the air for anyone's taking. She waited for Derek to return the words or anything at all, but he stood there silently.

Meredith took in a deep breath and let her broad smile flip into a frown. "I'm sorry," She pointed over her shoulder toward the ascending staircase. "I shouldn't have said that," She started to turn away and added, "I need to go," With that she pivoted and dashed up the steps leaving Derek Shepherd alone on the stairs.

Lunchtime was a bit of a relief. She sat next to Cristina, who was skimming through a medical journal on new cardiac transplant advances. Izzie was babbling on about how their resident, Dr. Bailey, A.K.A the Nazi, hated her and had forced her to perform rectal exams all morning. George was trying to speak over her whispering something about an intern being allowed to perform a solo appendectomy on the first day. Alex was sullen, he sat on the far end of the table and did not eat his food. The only time he touched the plastic fork on his tray was to push the cafeteria slop around on his plate.

Cristina turned to her, leaning in close so her voice wouldn't travel. "Did you hear about Dr. Shepherd's contest?" She asked, keeping her voice low. It was probably to avoid other interns over hearing. Surgery was a very competitive field.

Meredith's composure slipped at the mention of Derek's name, but she caught herself before Cristina could notice. "No, what is it?"

"Whatever intern accurately diagnoses his new patient gets to scrub in on the surgery," Cristina's voice took on a level of awe that made it obvious she admired the surgeon.

Meredith had to admit the opportunity made her mouth water, not that she'd ever reveal that to Derek. She wanted to take part in the contest, but she feared she would win and that would mean having to spend endless amounts of time in the operating room, where her and Derek would have time to talk and that could get deep.

"We could team up," Cristina offered. "Whoever diagnoses first gets the surgery."

Meredith shook her head. "I'll help you, but if we win you can have it. I don't want to spend anymore time with Shepherd then I have to."

Cristina's brown eyes widened. "Why? What's wrong with Shepherd?" Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion, she was obviously wondering why someone would dislike such a medical god.

Meredith peeked over her shoulder to make sure nobody was eavesdropping on their conversation. She closed her eyes, preparing herself to tell this complete stranger one of her best kept secrets. "You can't laugh, make a face, or judge me in any way."

"Not judging," Cristina said slipping into her best understanding, psychologist face, void of emotion or expression.

Meredith took in the blank expression for a moment, trying to decide if she should continue. The small exchange with Derek this morning echoed in her head and she knew she had to tell someone or she would explode. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. "We had a thing."

"You and Shepherd?" Cristina purred with a slight laugh.

"You said no laughing!" Meredith scolded, she felt the heat rise to her cheeks and wondered why she would ever tell a stranger this. "But yeah, we did. It was a while ago. I was still in grammar school when we started dating." Meredith stopped and considered the staircase incident. "I saw him for the first time in years today. It was amazing. Better then I thought it was going to be."

Cristina didn't move she just stared blankly at Meredith for a moment, before composing herself. "You and Shepherd?" She asked incredulously, obviously referring to Meredith's admission of her love for the doctor. "You know he's married now, right?"

Meredith had not known that. It felt like someone drove a knife into her heart and was ripping it out piece by piece. She could hardly breath at the idea of Derek in someone else's arms. The food in front of her made her nauseous, she gave the plastic tray a rough shove, sending it down to the other end of the table. How had she not noticed a ring on his finger? She had studied him hard enough, surely that would've caught her eye.

"Yeah, it was a huge wedding," Cristina said, her tone implied that it was odd Meredith had not known about this. "Like the royal wedding of medicine." She leaned forward again, eager to share her knowledge. "Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd. She's the head neonatal surgeon here."

Meredith tried to swallow the lump in her throat that was threatening tears. She had spent so long trying to force Derek away into a tiny box in her mind. She had obsessed over putting him away and getting over him so much that she never gave herself time to recuperate. Meanwhile Derek had moved on. He'd fallen in love with someone else and married her. She scoffed aloud at the possibility that he could love someone other then her.

Without another word Meredith pushed away from the table. Her mind was numb. She felt like she was moving under water as she made her way through the hospital. She wasn't even sure where she was heading until she was there in front of the nursery staring at the newborn babies all squirming around in their generic plastic cradles. Nurses in purple scrubs moved robotically around them changing diapers and offering bottles. She padded down the hall after a few minutes to the NICU. These babies were less soft, less pink. They were each secured in an incubator, tubes and needles jutted out of their miniscule bodies. the personnel in the room were much more gentle as they moved about.

A beautiful, tall, doe-eyed woman entered the room. Her auburn hair fell in loose ringlets to her shoulders and under her lab coat she wore a tasteful knee length skirt and a form-fitting white blouse. Meredith knew instantly that the woman was Addison Shepherd. Nobody said her name nor was it written anywhere, but she looked like a strong, independent woman and she was drop dead gorgeous. Of course Derek would upgrade from little old, mousy Meredith.

Meredith ran through the halls, easily finding her way to the isolated basement and throwing herself down on one of the abandoned gurneys. Images of Addison leaning over the helpless babies and fantasies of her and Derek wrapped in each other's arms made her stomach turn. Tears threatened to spill over her lids, but she didn't dare allow them. Instead, she burrowed her face in the worn leather of the stretcher and let herself wallow in the feelings she had not let herself feel since the moment Derek walked out all those years ago. The hurt, the anger, the abandonment, it all came crashing down, temporarily paralyzing her. She watched her hope of getting back together with Derek slip right through her fingers and there was nothing she could do to prevent it.

I hope you like the first chapter! I deleted my first MER/DER fic a while ago and decided I wanted to write a new one. Leave reviews and let mw know what you think? Should I continue?


	2. The Rivalry Begins

Meredith's house was eerily quiet. Cardboard boxes stuffed with her and her mother's things still dotted the halls. She had not had time to unpack and she most certainly was not in the mood now. Her mind was jammed with images of Addison Shepherd watching over the damaged newborns. Meredith had memorized the way her plump lips pursed as she read something from a chart or how her long red hair fell over her shoulders like a soft curtain. Meredith was trying to compare herself and Addison. She wanted to find some similarities. Surely, if Derek had fallen in love for a second time it had to be with someone who was like Meredith, but she came up empty. The tall, auburn beauty was nothing like Meredith. Even her specialty (neonatal) screamed warm and cuddly. Meredith on the other hand was about as cuddly as a cactus.

The moonlight slipped through the blinds and bathed Meredith as she tossed and turned on her mother's old queen sized bed. For some reason it was difficult going to sleep when she knew Derek was wrapped in somebody else's arms. In the past few years of her life she had always pictured Derek as sullen and lonely. She never stopped to think that maybe he had moved on and was happy. Derek's happiness, something Meredith had spent years of her life trying to achieve suddenly seemed unimportant. She did not want to act like a spoiled child, but she hated the thought that another woman was making him happy.

Seattle Grace was buzzing with the normal morning noise. Meredith and her new friend Cristina sat against the row of locker's inside the intern's locker room. They had just completed rounds and were waiting for Dr. Bailey to announce their assignments for the day. Meredith leaned her head back against the locker and cursed herself. She had never been a religious person. Her mother was a surgeon and so was she. Science was their god. Now she needed some higher power to help her. To help her stay off of Derek's service and to let Derek go and the memories the two of them shared. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, but she sighed stopping them from spilling over her lids.

The room fell silent and the interns, waiting for their assignments, stood straight up as if they had been called to attention. That could only mean one thing...

"Grey, Yang, Stevens, O'Malley, and Karev," Dr. Bailey barked. She came to a stop in front of the row of lockers Cristina and Meredith occupied.

Izzie, George, and Alex shuffled into the row also. The fear was obvious on their faces. Izzie even discreetly wiped a drop of sweat from her forehead. All interns hated being given assignments, because forty eight hours was a long time to spend doing something you did not like doing if you got stuck with a bad assignment.

"Stevens..." Bailey said, flipping through the clipboard in her hands.

Please be Shepherd. Please be Shepherd. Please be Shepherd. Please be Shepherd. Meredith repeated over and over again in her head.

"You're with Shepherd," Miranda finally said, stopping on one of the pages.

Meredith released a breath she did not realize she had been holding.

Izzie nodded, pulling on her pink stethoscope nervously. "Uh, Dr. Bailey?"

Miranda peered at the blonde doctor over her very organized clipboard. "Is there a reason you're still standing in front of me?"

Izzie rocked back and forth on her heels. "Which Shepherd?"

Bailey looked startled for a second as if this was the first time she had ever left out a detail. "Oh, uh, Derek Shepherd."

At the sound of Derek's name Meredith broke out into a victory dance in her head. Nothing could break her high. She was about to spend forty eight hours Derek Shepherd free. She could submerse herself in her work and do her best to forget about him and the new life he had created for himself.

Bailey read off the rest of the assignments. Yang and Burke, O'Malley and Webber, Karev and Robbins, and Grey and Shepherd... Meredith was about to correct Dr. Bailey, by letting her know Izzie had already been placed on Derek's service when the realization washed over her face. The shock of it all was enough to make her sick. Not Dr. Derek Shepherd... Dr. Addison Shepherd... Right now, she was not sure which would be worse.

Meredith made her way to the Neonatal ICU. Her heart was in her stomach and her face was pale from nausea. The entire trip through the long familiar hallways she practiced the lamaze breathing technique she had learned during an elective mid-wife class in college. The technique did little to comfort her though, her heart was still pounding in her chest.

Addison Shepherd looked like a goddess and acted like a saint. For a living she saved unborn children. Her long red hair and beautiful round eyes made her look like she belonged on a runway not in a hospital. Of course the reasons why Derek had fallen in love with her were obvious. She was kind, caring, attractive, smart, and wealthy. It was like she was the whole package and Meredith was just a mousy little intern who was obviously not dedicated because she spent years of her life drinking tequila, backpacking around Europe.

Addison looked up over the chart she was reading when Meredith entered the room. She offered a small smile, then returned to scratching notes across the paper in what Meredith could only presume was perfect handwriting. Meredith froze for a moment. She was not sure if she should feel awkward or not. Did Addison know about the relationship Meredith and Derek shared? If she did, Meredith could easily assume that she was not wanted here.

When Addison didn't say anything Meredith wondered if she knew why she had walked in here. "I'm on your service today," She spoke up over the murmurs of crying babies.

Addison nodded and flipped the chart shut, tucking it easily under her arm. "I know," She replied and gestured to the baby next to her. It was a dark haired boy. The I.D card on the front of his incubator said his name was Noah Samuels and he was four pounds two ounces. The small child was covered in tubes and needles. Yellow surgical tape kept his eye lips clamped shut. Meredith had never liked working on OB/GYN it always made her sick, looking at the helpless children.

Meredith had not been briefed on a case. Should she have been? She felt like a blubbering idiot standing before Addison and not having a clue about Noah's case. She seemed incompetent of doing her job. Noah looked sick, but she was not positive what was wrong with him.

"Noah Samuels, two weeks old. Born with a benign tumor penetrating his optical nerve. He is legally blind," Dr. Shepherd cleared her throat and tapped lightly on the plastic incubator and let a smile spread across her lips as she gazed down at the small child.

The room fell silent, except for the soft whir of machines and the occasional cry. Meredith watched watched Addison make faces at the baby and carefully stroke the plastic divide that separated the two of them. It was like, in that moment, they were the only two people on Earth. It took her a second before she realized that Meredith was staring at her.

She coughed a little and shot me a cold glare. "What's the treatment plan?"

Meredith nodded, looking down at tiny Noah once more before answering. "Oh, uh...well, first we should access a pediatric MRI, call for a neuro consult, and then decide whether or not the tumor is operable from there."

Dr. Shepherd stared at Meredith and shook her head slightly, shaking herself from the trance. "Yes, that sounds good. Page Dr. Shepherd."

It took Meredith a moment to register what she meant, then she nodded and exited the room. Once outside she felt her head become instantly clear. It was like working around Addison clouded her already foggy mind. It was just difficult to act poise in the presence of a woman who could love Derek Shepherd better than she ever could.

Derek arrived in the MRI booth shortly after he received Meredith's page. Izzie was trailing closely behind him. Meredith was happy that Izzie could act as a buffer between her and the two Shepherd's. Not even Addison's presence in the small room could stop Meredith from studying Derek's wavy, black hair or the way the starch white lab coat stretched perfectly over his broad shoulders. It took every ounce of control she had not to jump up and plant a kiss on him right there in front of his wife.

Addison stood up and kissed Derek herself. "Hi, honey," She cooed and then slid back into the swivel chair behind the computer.

Derek looked shocked for a moment, but quickly composed himself. He took the chair on the other side of Meredith, so she was the meat in a Shepherd sandwich. Izzie looked on from the back wall of the booth. Meredith could feel the heat from Derek's skin against hers when his arm brushed hers, but she kept her eyes trained straight ahead at the black computer screen. The tension was thick as Meredith wondered if Addison knew about their history or not.

"So, what do we got?" Derek finally questioned, disturbing the awkward silence.

"An optical nerve tumor in a two week old preemie," Addison answered. "He just became strong enough for surgery, so I'm hoping you can help. That's why I ordered new films."

Derek nodded and leaned forward to study the image of the tiny brain that was beginning to load on the screen. The tumor was large. It took up most of the small child's frontal lobe. It was not just penetrating the optical nerve anymore, which meant it was a rapidly growing tumor. Derek clucked his tongue and shook his head.

"He's only two weeks old," He mumbled under his breath.

Addison studied the image as well. A shocked expression took over her face. She had obviously not been expecting that much growth in such a short period of time. She turned to her husband, immediately dropping her expression into large sad eyes. "Can you operate?"

Derek looked at her, then back at the scree before finally letting his eyes land on the almost microscopic baby inside the large tube. He was struggling. I could see that. Addison could see that. I wondered Izzie could, too or if it was only obvious because the two of us knew him so well. I felt the awkward tension settle back in. If Addison had known about her and Derek, she would have said something already, right? Maybe she knew, but she just didn't care. Derek did marry her in the end. He had made his decision.

"No. Too risky," He finally decided and pushed away from the table to get to his feet. Izzie shifted behind him, preparing to leave as well.

Addison jumped up and grabbed hold of the crook of his elbow. "Come on, Derek," She pleaded. "You take on impossible cases all the time. He's only two weeks old."

Derek's face dropped. I could tell he was not comfortable with the idea, but he did not want to let down his wife. His eyes landed once again on Noah inside the MRI tube. A pained expression crosse his features. "I can't, Addie," He shook his head. "It's just not worth ending his life over."

Addison chuckled in disbelief. "He has no sight, Derek!" She hollered, shaking the walls of the booth. "We don't even know about the other qualities of life, yet. There might not be any." She sighed and stepped forward grabbing his hand. "Please, Derek. You're his only chance."

Derek looked at Meredith, his eyes silently pleading for advice. She mouthed 'sorry' because she truly did not know what to do. It was completely up to him whether he thought he could handle this or not. The small exchange did not go unnoticed by Addison. She quickly turned her back to Meredith creating a small divide between her husband and the lowly intern. That confirmed Meredith's suspicions. Addison did know about her and Derek. It was clear that she did not like it either...

TO BE CONTINUED..

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><p><strong>Sorry it was cut short! But I will continue it soon! If there are any grammatical or spelling errors I am sorry I wrote this in a rush. Please leave reviews and let me know what you think! I have no idea where I am going with this fic, so suggestions are accepted! <strong>


	3. Making Amends

"She hates me," Meredith stated, slapping her arms against her sides. Derek had dragged her into a vacant conference room after Addison caught him staring at Meredith for approval. His wife was pissed to say the least. She scolded him for staring at another woman the way he did, then stormed out of the tiny viewing room.

Derek was leaning against the long table with his arms crossed over his chest. He shook his head, "She doesn't hate you, Meredith."

The room grew silent as Meredith turned over the statement in her head. Meredith had witnessed the daggers in Addison's eyes when she caught Derek looking at her and the way the redhead stepped between the two of them. A lightbulb went off in Meredith's head. She looked at Derek, meeting his eyes again. "But she knows about us..."

This time Derek nodded, not bothering to hide the truth. "Yes, she knows about us..." He looked down at his running sneakers, crossing one foot over the other. There was another pregnant pause as the fact settled around the room.

Meredith shook her head. All of her worst fears were confirmed. "She might not have hated me before. But she does now." The look in Derek's eyes wasn't just pleading and confused. There was an unmistakable hint of longing. If she hadn't missed it, then Addison probably picked up on it, too.

A million thoughts raced through Meredith's head. Work was about to get a whole lot harder. As if being a surgical intern wasn't challenging enough. Now she was on an attending's bad side. She shook her head and let out a sigh. How could she let this happen? Her feelings for Derek had always gotten her in trouble. Now here she was nearly twelve years later and nothing's changed.

"Meredith..." Derek breathed. He pushed off the table and began to make his way over to the tiny blonde. His arms were open like he was about to pull her into an embrace.

Meredith paused for a moment. She wanted to feel his arms around her one last time...To stand there and let him hug her was tempting, but she knew it would only cause more problems. She shook her head and put her hand up. "Just don't touch me, Derek. Don't come near me anymore. From now on our relationship is strictly professional."

Derek looked at her, confusion coloring his features. He cocked his head to the side. "We were always professional."

"We can't be friends anymore. It's too complicated. I have complicated all on my own," Meredith spat. She took no time to compose herself, instead she turned on the heel of her sneaker and flew out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. She didn't look back at Derek. She was afraid his expression was going to crumble her tough facade. The last thing she wanted was to go crawling back with her tail between her legs.

She heard the door open only seconds after she left, but she remained strong and didn't turn back. "Meredith!" Derek called at the exact moment an on-call room door opened and Addison stepped into the hallway. Her eyes were red and puffy, but her expression turned murderous when she saw Derek and Meredith standing before her.

Meredith kept going, she had said what she needed to say. She sped walked down the hallway in hopes of avoiding an Addison and Derek fight. Today was not her lucky day because she wasn't even halfway down the hall when she heard Derek cry Addison's name. Her footsteps followed, they were quick and squeaky. She was heading in Meredith's direction. Away from Derek...

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><p>Izzie was waiting in the intern's locker room when Meredith walked in. She jumped up from her place on the bench when she saw her friend. "Woah, what was that?" Her blonde brows drew together and she shook her head. "Wait, you're not sleeping with Shepherd...are you?"<p>

Meredith's eyes widened. "No! I am not sleeping with my boss," She pushed passed Izzie and made her way to the metal bench in front of her locker. She sank down and sighed. Izzie joined her, clearly not ready to give up her investigation.

"Does Derek have some secret obsession with you? Like one of those creepy teacher-student stalking things you hear about on the news? Because I seriously do not want to see you end up as a bad twenty four hour mystery special." She reached forward and grabbed an apple out of her locker, cleaning it on her scrubs before taking a bite of it.

The only sound in the room was Izzie's loud chewing and a sigh that escaped Meredith's lips. She wondered whether or not she should tell her new friend about her previous relationship with Derek. Izzie was nice and she was a good doctor, but she had loose lips. She would tell George or Alex who would tell their nurse of the week and the story would spread like wildfire...

A pager buzzed interrupting Meredith's thoughts. Instinctively, both doctors looked down at the holders on their waistbands. Addison. Meredith huffed and pushed off the bench. She was momentarily thankful to Dr. Shepherd for saving her from spilling the beans to Izzie.

"It's Dr. Shepherd," Meredith commented and started for the door not needing further explanation.

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><p>Addison was in the NICU, standing over Noah's incubator when Meredith found her. Derek was there, too. He was sitting in a rocking chair flipping through Noah's chart. They weren't talking to each other. Even the nurse fiddling around the machines could sense the tension. She bowed out of the room as quickly as possible.<p>

"What took you so long, Grey?" Addison sighed, popping a hand on her hip while she looked for an explanation.

Meredith stopped in the doorway, her eyes widening. She had come running as soon as she got the page. It must've taken her less than five minutes to get from one end of the hospital to the other... She had no response, instead she stared dumbly at Addison opening and closing her mouth at a lose for words.

"Addie, you paged her four minutes ago," Derek said. His voice was full of irritation, but his eyes never left Addison when he spoke. Meredith imagined he was playing it safe, so that his glances couldn't me misinterpreted. She silently thanked him, but he wouldn't meet her eye. He turned his attention back to the chart.

The room grew silent again. The only sounds were the steady beeping of the machines that were hooked up to Noah's tiny body. Addison ignored Derek's comment, only letting her gaze linger on him for a second before turning to look at Meredith again. "Derek's going to do the surgery."

Meredith's heart leapt. A smile cracked over her lips and her eyes were immediately drawn to the tiny baby inside the incubator. She leaned forward and pressed her hand to the plastic, imagining him running and kicking a ball, swimming, and writing his name. All of these simple things would be made possible now.

"You're scrubbing in," Addison added. She didn't sound the least bit happy about that. Meredith met her eye and noticed that her mouth was pressed into a tight line. Meredith clearly hadn't been her first choice.

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><p>When Addison first broke the news of the surgery Meredith had been thrilled. She was going to scrub in on an optical nerve tumor in a two week old preemie... it was a once in a career surgery. She'd spent the whole day in the research library pouring over books, so she'd be prepared in Addison's presence. Then it hit her...it was going to be a long surgery. A very long surgery. She was going to be trapped in a room for hours, sandwiched between Addison and Derek. And Addison was going to be holding sharp objects that could potentially be used to harm someone...<p>

Meredith slammed the encyclopedia in her lap closed and rested her head against the bookshelf behind her. The idea of spending an entire day locked in a room with both Shepherds was beyond stressful. She sucked in a deep breath, wishing to be anywhere, but in Seattle Grace Hospital right now. Maybe if she closed her eyes and wished hard enough she would evaporate into thin air...

"If you're not going to study. Can I have the optical nerve tumor?" Cristina, who was sitting next to her on the research library floor, asked. She propped her water bottle between her knees and grabbed a chip out of the bag between the two of them.

"You can have it," Meredith said. "I don't want to spend anymore time with the Shepherds than I have to." She added, then regretted it. She had given away too much information.

"Why?" Cristina questioned. She finished chewing her chip and stared intently at Meredith.

There was a long pause. Meredith briefly weighed the pros and cons of telling Cristina. She knew Cristina would never tell anybody. And getting it off her chest might feel nice... She sighed and rolled her head to look at her friend. "Okay, but you have to promise me you won't laugh, smile, or make a face,"

Cristina nodded and put her hand on her chin in a teasing gesture. "This is me being supportive." She promised.

Meredith looked into Cristina's brown eyes for a moment. She didn't have to say anything. She could get up and leave right now...Her eyes flickered to the door on the other side of the room. She could run...She sighed again and focused on Cristina. "I slept with Derek," She announced, forgetting her escape plan.

Cristina's jaw dropped, but she quickly slammed it shut, remembering her promise. She leaned forward and ducked her head. Her eyes quickly scanned the room around them, making sure nobody was in earshot. "You're McDreamy's dirty mistress? I knew it," She shook her head. "He looks like a guy who'd have a mistress. I think it's the hair..."

Meredith's eyes opened in shock. Her shook her head vehemently. "No! I am not his mistress!" She whisper-hissed at her friend. "We were in high school. We dated for a few years."

Another resident walked by, looking for a book on the shelf. The two friends quieted their conversation while they waited for him to pass. Once they were in the safety of their little bubble again. Cristina's shoulders slumped and she narrowed her eyes. "High school? So?" She popped another chip in her mouth. "That was years ago," She said around the food.

"It wasn't a big deal, until Addison caught him _looking_ at me," Meredith emphasized the word 'looking' and wagged her eyebrows. She watched the realization color her friend's face and then relaxed into the bookshelf again.

Cristina slammed her book shut and shook her head. "Boo who. You have a hot doctor who's totally into you. It's the American dream. Embrace it." She folded her arms behind her head, leaning into the books.

"It's not that easy. He's married and now his wife hates me," Meredith hissed. She didn't understand how that was the American dream.

"Avoid them. Or talk to them. You have to work with them. It's your choice," Cristina said. They were her final words of advice before she slid the book she was reading onto the shelf behind her and got up. She sauntered out of the library, leaving Meredith alone to think.

Avoid them. Or talk to them. She instantly flashed back to the conversation she had with Derek in the conference room. It hadn't gone so well, but that was her fault. She ended whatever friendship they had and then stormed out of the room. She had never been good at hearing the other person's story... With that she sighed and left the library in search of Derek.

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><p>She found him consulting with Dr. Nelson. They were looking at the CT of a very large aneurism on the temporal lobe. The room was filled with low murmurs as both surgeons discussed a course of action. Meredith stood in the doorway for a moment, watching as Derek's eyes squinted and his fingers stroked the stubble on his chin. She only stayed a few minutes, neither of them noticed her before promising herself to find him when he wasn't busy and turning into the hallway.<p>

"Mer-Dr. Grey?" Derek called before she could leave. He was sliding the scan back into the manilla envelope it came in. Meredith stepped aside to let Dr. Nelson pass through the doorway, then she walked to meet Derek in the room, closing the door behind her.

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><p>Meredith and Derek talked for a half hour. She apologized for storming out on him, then asked if they could be friends again. It felt a lot like being a kid again. They would fight, then almost immediately one of them would crawl back with their tail between their legs, apologizing. They were sitting at the desk in the room laughing about old times.<p>

"Remember when we snuck into your mom's liquor cabinet? We wanted to get drunk, but you broke the bottle of whiskey. We spent the rest of the night cleaning it up and making sure the kitchen didn't smell," Derek slapped the desk top and chuckled. It was a familiar sound that made Meredith smile.

"Yes! You broke your arm that night," Meredith cheered through fits of laughter. Her mother had come home early from her shift. It was past midnight. Derek had to climb out of Meredith's bedroom window and into the oak tree next to the house. The branches were slippery from the earlier rainstorm. He slipped and landed on his arm. Meredith had to admit to him being there so her mom could take him to the hospital.

They were laughing, tossing around their favorite high school memories, when the door opened. "Derek, honey-" Addison stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted the two of them sitting at the desk. Her huge blue eyes went wide, showing a moment of vulnerability before she narrowed them, turned on her high heel, and stalked out of the room without another word.

Meredith was frozen in her seat. She peeled her eyes away from the door to look at Derek. He was just as shocked. He shook his head and met Meredith's gaze. "I have to go," He sighed and slipped out the door. Meredith heard his voice faintly calling Addison's name as he traveled down the hallway after the redhead.

Great, Meredith thought. She had only wanted to make things civil between the three of them, but judging by the look on Addison's face she had made it worse.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoy the chapter! Leave reviews and let me know your thoughts! <strong>


	4. The Universe Has a Plan

**I understand that I drag the story out. It's a bad habit. I'm sorry that you had to wait until the MerDer part of the fic...but it's here now. I always intended to have a MerDer story line.**

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><p><strong>FLASHBACK:<strong>

Meredith breathed, her hot breath splashing across his face. Her tiny fists were clenching his t-shirt. She swung her left leg around, pinning his body in place against the back seat of his jeep. Then their mouths collided, his tongue darted out to drag across her bottom lip. Immediately, her mouth opened wider and she pressed her tongue to his. He was trying not to think about the way her body was wrapped around his, because it was doing weird things below his belt.

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><p>Derek was lying across one of the on call room bunks, his mind wandering to his high school days. His shift had ended almost four hours ago, but he didn't want to go home. He often slept in the hospital, only going home when Addison was on call. Addison was home and after the screaming matches they'd been having over the last couple of weeks he tried to avoid her as much as possible.<p>

"You looked at her like you were going to mount her right there in front of me and Izzie Stevens!" She had shouted, her words sharp. "You have a history with her! She was your first love. Those kinds of feelings never really go away..now you're working with her. Ask her to be removed from your service indefinitely."

Derek had told her she was being childish. Then followed by saying it was unprofessional of him to make such a request. Addison's eyes went from angry to disappointed in a split second. They both knew the real reason for Derek not removing Meredith from his service...

He couldn't. They had been separated for eleven years and he couldn't physically handle being apart anymore. The feelings were still there. He knew it. Addison knew it. Meredith knew it. They were lying to themselves if they thought they could deny the feelings much longer.

Derek ran a hand over his face and sighed. He was emotionally and physically exhausted. Meredith had always been a spitfire. Even as a teenager she had managed to turn his world upside down. Now he was married and she was doing it again..

He was lost in thought when the door swung open. A stunned looking Meredith was standing in the doorway, her hand still on the doorknob. She slapped her free hand against her side. "Crap," She said and turned to leave.

"No, stay," Derek answered before he knew what he was doing.

Meredith looked at him for a moment. Then she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She sat down on the bed across from Derek and looked at him. She was waiting for him to speak because she was at a loss for words.

All of the events of the past month came rushing back. Meredith coming back to Seattle. Her first day. The few conversations they had. And all of his fights with Addison over her. It hit him like a brick wall and he couldn't resist it any longer. There were so many things he wanted to say. He wanted to apologize for leaving the first time. For not contacting her after he left. For getting married. For letting Addison control his life. There were so many words on the tip of tongue and one simple way to express them. He stood up and quickly closed the distance between them. Without speaking, he cradled Meredith's face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers.

Meredith hesitated for a moment. Her mother was a home wrecker. She had been Richard Webber's mistress for years. Meredith had made a pact to herself to never be that woman, but it took only minutes before she leaned forward and opened her mouth wider, deepening the kiss. She wanted Derek and she always went after what she wanted.

When his hands slid down her body, tracing random patterns on the exposed skin of her hips, where her scrub top had ridden up, it was like no time had passed at all. They were teenagers again in the backseat of his jeep, making out under the moonlight.

Time passed quickly. When Meredith finally pulled away she was red and out of breath. She looked at Derek and saw the desire burning in his blue eyes. She was positive that hers mirrored it. It had felt so nice to feel his mouth on hers and his arms around her again. It took all her restraint not to mount him right then and there.

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><p>Meredith and Derek's relationship went on in secret. They met in on-call rooms and the hospital's basement. Sometimes when Addison was working nights they would go to Meredith's house. They were teenagers again. Sneaking around behind their parents' backs and having sex in Derek's car while it was parked in a deserted parking lot.<p>

They were laying in each other's arms, their bare chests pressed together. it had been a month since their first make out session in this very same room. A million thoughts were going through Meredith's head. She felt at home in his arms, but the reminder of the wife he had at home made her sick to her stomach.

"You have a choice to make," Meredith said, breaking the silence. Derek's hand, which had been tracing a pattern on her spine, stopped. He sat up, leaning his back against the wall. Meredith pulled away so she could look at him. "You have a choice to make because I'm not going to do this," She gestured to the space between the two of them. "My mother was the dirty mistress and I don't want to be. I won't be. So you have to choose. Derek, I'm sure she's great. You obviously love her because you wouldn't have married her...and she loves you, too." Meredith began rambling. It was a nervous habit of hers, but this time she couldn't stop. "But Derek, I've loved you since I was fifteen. Like a really big kind of love. I tried to move on, but I can't. I love you. A lot. But I won't continue to sneak around. I want to settle down. I want a life, too. Remember that when you're making your decision," Meredith said nothing else. She didn't wait for Derek to reply, she picked up her clothes and slipped into them before leaving him alone in the room.

Derek stared at the door for several minutes after Meredith left. He knew that this was coming. Meredith was strong, independent. She was not going to be somebody's dirty secret for long. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. She was right. He had a choice to make. But in actuality. He didn't. His mind was already made up.

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><p>Derek drove in silence, making a point to turn the radio off. He wanted time to practice what he was going to say. There was a long speech going through his head. He repeated it over and over again, making sure it was perfect. He wanted to make this as painless as possible...<p>

That was the last thing he remembered thinking. There was an Earth shattering screech. It filled Derek's ears and made him cringe. Something slammed into the back of his Porsche Cayenne. It drifted a few feet before slamming into the concrete wall to the side of the highway. The impact made Derek bounce around wildly in his seat. His head banged against the steering wheel and then the world went black...

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><p>Meredith's eyes were heavy with lack of sleep. She kicked off her jeans and stripped out of t-shirt, leaving them in a pile on the floor. She stalked into the bathroom in only her bra and underwear to brush her teeth. Before she laid down she slipped into flannel pajama pants and her old, ratty Dartmouth t-shirt. When her head finally hit the pillow she moaned with pleasure.<p>

Her phone rang and her eyes snapped open. Cristina's name popped up on the LED screen. Meredith sighed and pressed the phone to her ear. "What's up?" She said around a yawn. The background noise was a flurry of activity.

"Derek," Cristina said, breaking through the noise. "There's been an accident. It's not good. You should get here now," Was all her friend said before the line went dead.

Meredith hadn't even noticed that she was already in motion. She had kicked the sheets back and was making her way through her house. When she got to the front door she shoved her shoes into a pair of boots, only then realizing that she was still wearing her pajama pants. She kept going. The only thing on her mind was Derek. She needed to know if he was okay.

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><p>When Meredith burst through the doors of the emergency room she was immediately hit with how crowded it was. Every bed was filled. Doctors and nurses were fluttering about. Phones were ringing and heart monitors were beeping. She ignored the commotion, zeroing in on the trauma rooms. She had a feeling Derek was tucked inside one of them. She was right.<p>

Addison was standing outside trauma room one. Her auburn hair was immediately recognizable. She was staring at the room's window, but she couldn't see in. The blinds were drawn. A crumpled tissue was in her fist. She reached up to dab at her eyes every few seconds.

Meredith froze in her tracks. Before she could think about turning around and running for the door, she felt a tugging at her arm. Cristina was pulling her down the hall. She was wearing a yellow trauma gown. There were blood stains on the thin gown. Meredith gasped when she saw it, assuming it was Derek's.

"He has a cerebral hematoma, severe internal bleeding in his abdomen, multiple facial lacerations, and..." Her voice trailed off and she dropped her gaze to the tiled floor.

"What?" Meredith questioned. "What's wrong?"

Cristina shook her head. She looked exasperated. "A piece of the windshield penetrated his heart..." Her voice trailed off.

Meredith's eyes widened. She shook her head in disbelief. When she opened her mouth no words came out. Her thoughts were racing and her own heart was pounding quickly in her chest. Her knees were weak and she suddenly felt as though she couldn't stand. She grasped onto the handrail running along the wall behind her.

Cristina reached out to steady her. She opened her mouth to comfort her friend, when her pager went off. The beeping noise only made Meredith's heart beat faster. Cristina glanced down at the waistband of her pants. "9-1-1," She announced and turned in the direction of the trauma rooms.

Meredith remained holding onto the rail. She was focusing on steadying her ragged breathing and lightheadedness. Cristina turned and took in her friend's sad state with wide eyes. "He's in good hands, Mer," She said before stalking down the hallway, leaving Meredith standing alone.

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><p>Meredith found herself standing at the mouth of the E.R again. She was watching Addison in front of the trauma room. She was still clutching a tissue and staring blankly at the covered window. Meredith thought about leaving. If she turned around and walked out Addison would have never known that she was here. Then she thought about sitting at home, waiting for updates about Derek via Cristina's phone calls. The idea sent shivers down her spine. It was the only motivation she needed. With her head held high she made her way toward the room and took her spot next to Addison.<p>

A strong hand gripped her bicep and dragged her back down the hallway to the place her and Cristina had just stood. "Let go of me," Meredith said, sternly. She shook her arm free of Addison's hold and turned to face the older woman.

Addison's blue eyes burned with anger. She stared at Meredith for a moment before beginning her tyrant. "That's my husband in there! Husband trumps boyfriend, so you need to go home. He doesn't need complications right now," She warned. Her tone was no nonsense and her face was twisted into a scowl.

Meredith's eyes widened. Derek and her hadn't been as good at sneaking around as they had originally thought. Addison knew...

"You think I'm stupid? I know all about your on-call room meetings and secret glances. It's romantic, really. High school sweethearts finding the love they once shared," She snapped. "But you need to go. Go home and when Derek wakes up you need to end whatever is going on between the two of you."

Meredith recoiled like Addison had slapped her. Addison's flare up hadn't been irrational. Any wife would respond the same way to their husband's mistress, but that didn't mean Meredith was going to leave. She had as much right to be there as Addison did. "I'm not going," Meredith replied, defiantly. She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head to look up at Addison. "I love him, too," She admitted. "And I want to make sure he's okay. So, I'm staying."

Addison's mouth mashed into a straight line. She glared at Meredith. Her eyes boring holes into the younger woman. For a moment, the two just stared, neither of them spoke. "Then stay out of my way," Addison hissed and stalked down the hallway, back in the direction they had come.

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><p>"Meredith," A familiar voice whispered. Her body started shaking violently. "Meredith!"<p>

Meredith slowly opened her eyes. Cristina was standing in front of her, shaking her awake. It took Meredith a moment to realize where she was. The E.R waiting room. She was still in her pajamas and was uncomfortably folded into one of the plastic covered chairs. She sat up and rolled her neck working out the kinks. "How's Derek?" She asked when she remembered her reason for being there. Her eyes were wide and the sleep was immediately removed from her face.

"Dr. Nelson and Burke operated on him. They stopped the bleeding on his brain. Burke was afraid of infection, so he operated on his heart at the same time. There were complications. The glass had badly damaged his heart. Burke did the best he could..." Cristina looked around, then slid into the seat next to Meredith. "He's gonna need another surgery to repair the tears in his heart. They're gonna wait a few hours, let him get stronger, then he's gonna go back in."

Meredith sat there for a moment, taking in the information. She had a hundred questions. The same feelings of anxiety as those moments in her bedroom after Cristina's phone call took over her body. She began lamaze breathing in an attempt to calm herself. She felt a lump rise in her throat. Her head was filled with images of Derek. He was smiling, laughing, kissing her. She couldn't imagine him lying on his back in a hospital bed. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Dr. Burke is very good," Cristina replied. "The best in the country," She added. Meredith suddenly knew what it felt like to be a family member in the waiting room. Cristina was spewing the same genetic answers they gave panicking families.

Meredith knew that Cristina couldn't confirm Derek's future, so she didn't push. "Can you take me to him?" She asked, her voice was broken as she held back tears.

Cristina's eyes widened. "Addison is with him..."

Meredith shook her head. "I don't care. I want to see him," She replied. She just wanted to see him. Even if he wasn't conscious. She wanted to be there. To hold his hand and comfort him.

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><p>Derek was lying in the hospital bed. The sheets were pulled up to his waist. There was a bandage peeking out from the top of his hospital gown and another was wrapped around his head. His body was a map of tubes and wires, all hooked up to the various machines stationed around his bed. Addison was perched on a chair next to him, she was gripping his hand in both of hers.<p>

Meredith rolled her eyes. She was aware of all the mean things Addison had said to Derek since Meredith showed up. Derek had been verbally abused by Addison. She was constantly blaming him for things he didn't do. Now she was sitting here, pretending to be the perfect wife. She wore a concerned expression and shed alligator tears.

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><p>A loud beeping noise woke Meredith up. She had been exhausted and after sitting with Derek for a few hours had reluctantly left his side to take up in one of the on call rooms. She had only intended to rest her eyes for a moment, but she quickly slipped into a deep sleep.<p>

She reached blindly for her pager that was tangled somewhere in the mess of sheets she was lying in. When she found it, it was Cristina. She pushed off the bed and lazily stuck her feet into her sneakers. She hadn't left the hospital since the day of the accident. She showered and wore clean scrubs. Even on her days off. Cristina was reviewing Derek's chart when Meredith found her. She was closing the door on his room. It had been almost two days since his last surgery and Meredith was dying to know how he is. She nearly collided with Cristina as she came around the nurses' station.

"He's awake," Cristina said, she glanced up at Meredith while she flipped the chart shut. "Addison's with him," Her voice was slow, testing Meredith's reaction.

Meredith looked from her friend to Derek's hospital room door. It was closed, but faint voices were drifting from beyond it. They rose and fell as Addison and Derek's confrontation escalated. Meredith could hear the voices, but couldn't make out the words.

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><p>Derek was propped up in his hospital bed. His last memory was making his decision. Then the truck hit him from behind and he collided with the wall. The rest is black...but he did remember his choice. Now he was staring at Addison as she sat next to his bedside. She looked concerned, her one eyebrow was pinched. The way it always was when she was confused.<p>

"This has been over for a while, Addie...neither of us wanted to admit it," Derek said. He crossed his arms over his chest, then quickly uncrossed them, wincing at the pain in his chest. His stitches were still fresh and they caused him some discomfort.

Addison stared at him, wide eyed. She laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. She used both hands to slid her hair behind her ears. "You're leaving me for her," She stated. It wasn't a question. It wasn't said in disbelief. It was a statement. Addison's voice remained even, still.

"Does it matter?" Derek asked. He looked at his wife, but couldn't find her. Somewhere since they said 'I do', she'd changed. She had become someone he didn't recognize. "You didn't want this. If you wanted this you wouldn't be taking extra shifts. You wouldn't be picking at everything I do. You wouldn't be jealous of Meredith.."

Addison shook her head. "No! You don't get to tell me that I have no right to be jealous of Meredith Grey. I know, Derek. I know all about you and her. I found her panties in your pocket! Whenever I'm near you I can smell her perfume! I figured it out. A while ago," She stared at him. Her blue eyes burning into his. She looked down at the floor, then back up at him again. "It's her," She said, her voice was smaller than before. "It has always been her." Derek wore a somber expression. He just stared at Addison, waiting for her to continue. "Even before she started working her. You never stopped loving her."

"I'm sorry, Addison," Derek replied. And he was. He was apologizing to the woman he married. To the woman he loved. Not to the woman who was standing before him. She had abused him and tore him down. She didn't deserve his apology.

Addison looked at him in disbelief. Her expression changed quickly to one of understanding. She nodded and ran a hand through her hair. "Have your lawyer draw up the papers and send them over. I'll sign them right away." She didn't wait for Derek to respond. She simply turned on the heel of her stiletto and click-clacked her way out of the room.

The weight of the world seemed to be lifted off of Derek's shoulder as he watched Addison go. He had been holding onto her because he thought he had to. He had always been the perfect one. And the perfect husband didn't give up. He chased after his wife, always made things right. Keeping up the appearance of award-winning husband was stressful. He couldn't do it anymore. Not when Addison wasn't trying either. Not when Meredith was there with her soft lips and killer smile. Meredith... A smile spread across his lips at the mere thought of her name.

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><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED...<strong>

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><p>I am aware that you were frustrated. Constructive criticism is one thing, but nasty insults are unnecessary. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'll get the second half up as soon as it's finished!<p> 


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